All alone in the world (Part 1)

They told me these were supposed to be the best three years of your life. That everything would change for the better, your job prospects, your relationships, your whole life. Why didn’t people mention the pitfalls of this life? The feeling no one is noticing you, how alone you feel when you sleep at night. When you wake up in tears to see everyone has had a good time without you. It never ends, you wake up day after day and it’s the same situation, you regret coming here, if you knew it was going to be this way you wouldn’t have. Why did they not mention that when you walk in a room, everyone leaves, how upsetting and depressing that is? It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I have had seven and a half weeks away from this and as soon as I come back, I remember how i felt before, it swallows me up whole and I weep for a full ten minutes. I am not sure if I will make it through this semester but I need to try for at least four weeks. Why didn’t they mention to me that there is a chance you would feel this low? A painful reminder of the bad days faced at school, the lonliness. It makes you want to not talk to people, no longer find jokes funny, no longer make small chat to people around you. Coming across so rude will not help this situation, but it’s hard when you are in such misery. You just have to remind yourself everyday that you are there for the course , try to focus on that, otherwise if the isolation becomes all consuming, you will have missed out on a fantastic opportunity.

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