I don’t know how to deal with this situation it is very odd because it is so uncomfortable because of me. I never expected what happened to occur just please try not to blame me forever. Lost in a world where no one can run to apart from me. I have isolated myself, so I am trapped and refuse to be let free. I don’t know how to be with my friends any more all we do is talk about the boy I’m crushing on and argue. If I was 16 I would have left early. People always laugh and pick on me now when they see me. A parody of myself I have become, cuz no one know what is really going on. I never try to integrate I always sit alone. It makes me depressed and wish I was at home. Will this never ending loneliness and boredom fade? These are supposed to be the best years of my life, but I am so afraid. I wish I had courage and a whole heap of confidence to say what I feel and be a part of this group, I never make any effort and I will always feel odd about it.