I was so disappointed when none of you would talk to me. I left school heartbroken, what did I ever do to you but care about you? When you see me ; you just turn your backs or ignore me, Bitch get away from me.
Life feels like your drowning in the sea, with never ending waves. I can’t seem to get make it through, the question is how long can this continue for you give in to the waves that are drowning your existence? That date I make but never go on, those people I meet but never turn into friends, those missed church events, that car I want to drive, but won’t.
I am so scared about tomorrow, I want to ask you out but I am afraid. I don’t want you to say no, I will not be able to handle being rejected a second time. Th last time I asked someone out it was five years ago, it was so long! But I remember it like it was yesterday, how heartbroken I was when he rejected me. I haven’t forgotten how devastated I was, how upset, I was hurt. I don’t want it to happen again.
Dear anxiety, you have robbed me from living a normal life. You’ve stopped me from resuming some beloved friendships. Stopped me from being able to drive, made me lie to the people I love the most. Made me resent others for finding life easy, made me turn my back on her, when I wanted to reach out. You’ve made me depressed, to the point now where I think life is no longer worth living. I hate you.
I walk around with my head low to try to get you out of my head. I can’t. You don’t care about me, you are supposed to love me and yet you are not interested, I feel disappointed and gutted, like a dark cloud is always raining over me. It never goes away.